Welcome To The Black Hole

I’m happy to report that the weather here in Wyoming is nice, finally.  Well with the nicer weather I of course want Smoothies for breakfast, but alas I don’t have my Vitamix blender…yet.  I am hopeful that the blender will magically appear on my kitchen counter one of these days.  I have faith in the husband.  But, today I broke down, and purchased a cheap blender.  Smoothies I will have.  I don’t exactly expect the blender to last that long I mean it cost all of $14.  I’ll let you know how well it works after tomorrow morning’s Operation Smoothie.

I picked up my blender at Walmart.  So lets talk about Walmart shall we.  I really don’t like Walmart in the fact that it is basically a black hole.  Think about it, there are no windows in that place.  None. Zip. Zilch.  You all know what I’m talking about when I say it’s a black hole.  You can go in for one item, and be there for hours.  Go in thinking of spending only a few dollars for a little item, and before you know it you have an entire cart full of stuff that you think you need.  It’s insane, and let me tell you every time I walk into the place I get sucked in.  The gravitational pull of the black hole nails me every time.  DAMN YOU WALMART!

So you inevitably get sucked into the black hole otherwise known as Walmart, and now you have a cart full of crap, and you look for a check out lane.  HA!  That’s where the real fun begins.  Have you ever noticed the number of registers they have.  It’s a lot I assure you, but I can also assure you that there are very few open.  And, of course the number of open registers directly correlates with how little time you have to get out of there.  The bigger the crunch on your time the fewer registers open, it never fails.  Come on Walmart you have 436 registers the least you could do is open 10 of them.  GRRRRRRR!!! Oh, and the best part is that they will have all of the 20 items or less lanes open, and only 2 or 3 regular lanes open.  Seriously how many people walk out of Walmart with fewer than 20 items.  Not many as exhibited by tonight’s lines.

Ah Walmart!  You were definitely pure genius in design, there are not many places where you can buy your groceries, firearms, and a dress all in the same place.

Needless to say I made it out of the black hole with not much in the line of damage, being that I picked up the blender and groceries, mainly frozen fruit for the Smoothies of course, yogurt, again for the Smoothies, milk, Smoothie ingredients, and some stuff for meals the next few days.

Needless to say I try to avoid the black hole at all costs but occasionally a visit is required. How about you, how do you survive the black hole of Walmart.

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2 thoughts on “Welcome To The Black Hole

  1. I avoid Walmart at all cost. Everytime I walk in there, I get ragey. The zombie shoppers, the super obese people in power wheelchairs buying cartfulls of saturated fat, and cracked out toddlers up waaaaaay past their bedtime. I get sweaty and clammy and then I start to hate myself and others and it’s all I can do to snatch my items and run to the parking lot. Sweet jesus the parking lot alone is the stuff of nightmares. Just writing this has made me twitchy.

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